On Feeling Good: Productivity Principles Part 3
Happiness leads to success, not the other way round; so how can you be happier?
In this final part of our productivity series, we want to share some principles on how to feel good whilst working hard.
Reflecting about how you feel, and making an effort to improve your well-being is not only tremendously beneficial for your overall life satisfaction. It is also essential to being successful. As Shawn Achor discusses in “The Happiness Advantage”, our belief that success leads to happiness has it the wrong way round; Happiness drives success, which then further increases happiness.
Taking care of your well-being is especially important in these difficult times. We hope you find value in the principles we share.
1. Prioritise energising relationships
We firstly wanted to stress the importance of relationships. As was made famous by this 85 year long Harvard study, strong relationships are the biggest predictor of both longevity and well-being.
Focus on relationships energise you: Whilst it is normal to want to shut down and “retreat” when feeling stressed, it is in these times that focusing on our relationships gives us the greatest value. Yet, when our batteries are any-ways running low, it is especially important to prioritize relationships and interactions that bring you energy. For me, this means focusing on people that help me feel valued, loved and connected. If after meeting a friend you feel drained of energy, probably not the best person to reach out to when you are stressed (don’t think that means they are a bad friend, but still probably not whom you want to reach out to when your energy is running low).
Be a person that energises others: How can you be a person that brings others energy? Research shows that being active and constructive in your responses is the best way to build a relationship. As Shawn argues, “passive responses to good news (‘That’s nice.’) can be just as harmful to the relationship as blatantly negative ones (‘You got the promotion? I’m surprised they didn’t give it to Sally, she seems more suited to the job.’)”. This doesn’t mean we should be “fake” in our responses and exaggerate our excitement. But we should convey that we genuinely care about our friends and are happy for their success and empathetic towards their struggles.
Remember: Focus on the people who bring you energy, and be a person who energises others
2. Work-life balance: How to make it realistic and sustainable
Having a good work-life balance is another factor that is stressed countless times in “self-help” books. I don’t think we need to/ can always have a balance (in the sense of work and play being equal); it’s normal and I would argue completely fine to sometimes have to work a disproportionate amount of time. In “Working Hard, Hardly Working”, Grace Beverly explains how sometimes, getting sh*t done is the best self-care we can do. What matters, especially over the long-term, is that we don’t neglect one area completely.
Dividing different parts of your life into “buckets” can be helpful for reflection: An example division could be: Career/ academics; Physical Health; Mental Health, Relationships; Spirituality and Finances. Whilst you cannot focus equally on all buckets all the time, you should ensure that no bucket gets empty. An exercise you can try is reflecting how much time you would ideally allocate to each bucket. You can then track how your time/ bucket allocation actually looks like. This will give you a clearer picture of whether you should make any changes to improve your well-being.
Take hourly, daily, weekly and yearly breaks: How much time you need to recharge will be highly subjective. I think what’s important is to have some rhythm/ structure that allows you to recharge, to not go full-speed until breaking point. As a general guideline, shorter, more frequent breaks tend to be more effective than longer, less frequent ones (discussed here).
Hourly: People who worked for 52 minutes and took a break for 17 minutes were most productive (see here).
Daily: Having one thing to look forward to each day (no matter how small) can significantly boost your happiness. Indeed, the anticipation of a reward is often more significant for your well-being than the reward itself (as explained here).
Weekly: I find taking one day off resets me for the week ahead. You can use this day to meet up with friends, pursue your hobbies, and conduct a weekly review (which we explained in our first part of this series).
Yearly: Taking at least three weeks of vacation a year can boost our longevity and help us perform at their best. The ideal length for a vacation seems to be between 8 and 11 days (we seem to be most relaxed after 8 days, after which our peak declines, and does so rapidly after 11 days).
Don’t reduce your asset to increase your income: We already mentioned this principle but it’s worth repeating: Try not to reduce your asset to increase your income. This means prioritizing your health to play the long-term game; Adequate sleep, exercise, a healthy diet and a focus on your relationships are all essential for this.
Remember: Whilst a perfect work-life balance is unrealistic, completely neglecting one area of your life is dangerous. Shorter, more frequent breaks help you recharge, allowing you to work and feel at your best.
3. Mental Hygiene: Create a mental health toolbox for yourself
The term “mental hygiene” encompasses daily activities that support and maintain mental health. Mental Hygiene can look different to different people. You can think of it as a toolbox or a support system that you put in place to help you when you are feeling low or overwhelmed.
Not enough for people suffering from clinical issues: Importantly, mental hygiene is about maintaining mental health. If you are suffering from more severe mental-health related issues, these exercises alone won’t be enough. In that case, seeking professional help is strongly recommended.
Take 10 minutes a day for your mental hygiene: Different exercises can be done to improve your mental hygiene in as little as 10 minutes a day. Here are a few examples:
Further exercises with instructions can be found here.
Importantly, There are no right or wrong systems - it will take time to find a list that feels the most helpful to you. If you want a structured approach to improve your mental hygiene, Elisabeth Fillips shares her very detailed and helpful approach in this video. You can also purchase the template she desigend here.
Remember: You can significantly upgrade your mental health in as little as 10 minutes a day
4. Find and connect with your higher purpose
Finding your “higher purpose” sounds very esoteric but I interpret it as essentially meaning that you know why you are doing something. Studying might seem meaningless, but if saving lives by being a doctor is what you believe will bring you purpose and joy later in life, studying hard in order to get into medical school feels a lot more meaningful. Keeping your bigger goal in mind makes it a lot easier to motivate yourself.
Try viewing your work as a calling, or at least a career: How you view your work also has a huge influence on how successful you’ll be at it + how happy you’ll be doing it. The parable of the bricklayers shows how you can view your work - whatever the task is - as a “job”, a “career” or a “calling”.
The setting is London, 1666. A great fire ruined the St Paul Cathedral in London. Five years into the massive project Cristopher Wren, the architect commissioned to rebuild the cathedral, stopped to pose a simple question to three brick layers. “What are you doing?” he asked.
The first replied, “I am a brick layer, working hard to feed my family”. The second offered, “I am a builder. I am building the walls of a church.” The third answered, “I am a cathedral builder. I am a part of building a Kingdom.”
Their physical task was the same but their perspective was vastly different.
Think about the end of your life: Though unsettling, can bring you clarity in identifying your higher purpose. I touched on this concept in this post, where I also share other principles for how to build a meaningful career.
An important and often overlooked ingredient to finding and creating your higher purpose is time where you “do nothing” (which is a lot easier said than done). It is explained more below.
Remember: Understanding why you are doing something is often the best motivation.
5. Have more moments of boredom
In this great article, Talbot explores the nature of boredom, and what it does to us. Here are some key insights.
Tolstoy saw boredom as “a desire for desires”. Danckert and Eastwood argue that “boredom occurs when we are caught in a desire conundrum, wanting to do something but not wanting to do anything”.
We have more options than ever to not feel bored (given the many readily-available forms of entertainment). At the same time (probably as a consequence) we are getting bored more quickly, and are worse at tolerating boredom.
A 2014 study demonstrated how hard it is for people to sit alone in a room and just think, even for fifteen minutes or less. Two-thirds of the men and a quarter of the women opted to shock themselves rather than do nothing at all, even though they’d been allowed to test out how the shock felt earlier, and most said they’d pay money not to experience that particular sensation again.
That so many of us can’t sit with our thoughts for 15 minutes is problematic. Times of undistracted thinking allow our mind to wander, allowing us to connect dots of seemingly unrelated information - the foundation of unique insights. Being able to sit with our own thoughts is also essential to being able to check-in with ourselves. If we are constantly on the go (literally running away from our thoughts), how can we know that we are ok? Integrating more moments of boredom - be they on the tube, when waiting for a friend, or when eating alone - is therefore I believe extremely beneficial.
Apart from these pockets of boredom in an otherwise engaging life, there also is a deeper “existential boredom”, termed taedium vitae by Seneca: “How long will things be the same? Surely I will be awake, I will sleep, I will be hungry, I will be cold, I will be hot. Is there no end? Do all things go in a circle?” This “existential” boredom, whilst painful, can also be a valuable pointer that something in our life is missing. As shown in this study, by Bench and Lench, boredom motivates our pursuit of new goals when the previous goal is no longer beneficial. It can thus help us find and create a more meaningful and engaging goal.
Remember: Learning how to sit with boredom is one of the greatest investments you can make
6. Choose to be happier
Finally, and most importantly, to improve our well-being in the long-term, we must actively choose to be happy. This does not mean we don’t hold space for other emotions, especially when they are called for (e.g., grief). It also does not mean we are “guilty” or “to blame '' for being unhappy. Nonetheless, in a morally neutral sense, we are ultimately responsible for our well-being.
In “Solve for Happy”, Mo Gawdat, former chief business officer of Google X, shares his “formula” for happiness. The formula, and the countless tools he shares in his book, helped him come to terms with the tragic death of his son at the age of 21 due to a simple medical error. Whilst he may never be as happy as he was before his loss, he has made the choice to become happier, bit by bit.
Mo sees happiness as being “greater than/ equal to the difference between our perception of events and our expectation for how the events ought to have happened”. The key to sustained happiness therefore is to set realistic expectations, and to reflect upon events realistically, actively thinking about the good (given our natural bias to focus on the bad). It takes a lot of time and willpower to practice his algorithm, but the effort is worth it.
Again, if you are suffering from more severe mental health issues, “choosing” to be happier may not work. At least not on your own. Choosing to seek professional help, if available, would then be the most important first choice to make.
If you are interested in reading scientific papers and reports on happiness, you can have a look at the work of the Happiness Foundation.
Here are a few ways you can reclaim your happiness (inspired by Ali Abdaal):
Reformulate “can’t” into “won’t”: When confronted with a ton of tasks, we often say we “can’t” do X (e.g., exercise regularly). Reformulating our thoughts to “I won’t exercise/ choose not to exercise because I have other priorities” gives us back our agency. And feeling in control of our life is essential for our well-being.
At the end of the day, no matter how much you have achieved, choose to be satisfied with what you have done. Whether you beat yourself up or appreciate however little you have done won’t change the outcome. Yet, it can hugely influence your assessment of yourself as well as your motivation for the day ahead. This doesn’t mean congratulating yourself if you really were unproductive, but shifting to focus on what you have done, as opposed to what you didn’t.
When approaching a task ask yourself: What would this look like if it were fun? Seriously consider this question and design the task accordingly.
Remember: You can choose to be happier.
We truly hope you enjoyed this post. We hope that some of the tools will help you find happiness and peace if you are struggling at the moment.
All the best,
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